


Life's a roller coaster.

by SuzuyaJuuzou



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, New Years, POV Second Person, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 22:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3093755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuzuyaJuuzou/pseuds/SuzuyaJuuzou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You just happened to be at the lowest point.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life's a roller coaster.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry," you cried.

Just moments ago, you were seated on your window sill on the top floor of your building. You were prepared to jump.  
You were prepared to rid the world of you, you whom deems yourself to be a mistake of this world.. 

Since you could remember, you felt too self-aware of yourself. You felt _wrong_.  
You've been trying to kill yourself for several years now, failing miserably every time. This was wrong, but for you, it felt right. You didn't care about all your friends or family-- Or rather, you felt they didn't care about you. You've dropped hints, and only recently came out to them with the big secret. Your mother called you an idiot, and said your feeling like this was just an excuse, a phase, to your plummeting school life. Your friends tried to help you, but you felt as if they were all lies. Like they talked behind your back about how troubling you must be, how much of a burden you were. Yes.. You were a burden and so you had decided to end it.

But quite ironically, you have a fear of height. This led to the current situation; you sitting in front of your window sill, anxiety pumping through your nerves, heart beat fast and a tight, heavy knot in your chest. You were breaking out into cold sweat, wondering why you were so selfish as to even want to live, why you couldn't just end it. It made you mad, upset, all kinds of negative emotions; All swirling in your chest. You couldn't even cry from the anxiety, though you felt like it.

Standing up, you looked out your window and were about to attempt again when your phone rang suddenly.  
You glanced between it and the window, before finally picking up the phone. Before you could even say "Hello", the person on the other line spoke;

"Hey, it's me! Happy New Years!"

Your chest tightened even more as you recognized the voice of your friend, Kuroo Tetsurou.  
The two of you had been met only several years ago, but you had clicked instantly and were close friends soon after. Both of you had comforted each other during one another's dark time, there was hardly a thing you didn't know about each other. In fact, Tetsurou knew of you being suicidal quite some time before other people did. While you were down, he would always help you with comforting words. Hearing him now, though, didn't send comfort but guilt to your heart.

"O-oh, Happy New Years, Tetsurou," you said while trying to sound as cheerful as you could. You didn't realize it was already midnight, and just as you thought that, fire works could be heard outside. They sounded even louder on the phone.

"Are you okay?" His tone instantly changed to one of worry and concern. Of course, he would know. He always did, some how, anyway.

"I- I'm.." You trailed off before telling him everything. How you felt, how you were sitting on the window sill, and all the while he remained silent, though gasps could be heard. You still lamented over not being able to cry, even though you could feel your tears in your eyes; alas, they would not fall, and it only made you feel worse.

You were practically hyperventilating when you were done, and still he said nothing. ".. Tetsurou? A- are you-"

"IDIOT! What were you thinking?! Shit, I can't even come over because of the traffic, but idiot! Don't, don't you ever do that.." His voice breaking at the last syllable.

"Listen to me. I love you, so much. You don't have to worry about what other people think, who gives a FUCK about what they think?! What matters is YOU, YOU matter and YOU matter SO much to me. What would I have done without you, Jesus- I- I can't even think about it! Listen, alright? Listen to me," You could hear the shakiness in his voice.

"You will get through this, okay? D- don't give me that crap about not seeing the future, not knowing where you'll go, NO ONE knows where they'll go, and if they say they do, they're lying! That, that's what life's about, okay?! You're supposed to not know, you're supposed to just try and do your best- Sure it sounds fucked up, it is, but you can make a difference. If you're so scared about your future then do something about it! School work? Study harder! Ask for help, you're not alone, you're never fucking alone. Job? Ask around! Your acquaintances, friends, family members, all of them have experienced hardship, go and talk to them! Learn from their experiences! 

Never be afraid to ask for help, or talk to someone about your problems. If someone can't be bothered with you or something, then FUCK THEM! They don't deserve you, they aren't worth your time. Even the busiest people can at least offer a word or two of comfort. You, you should also learn to say no. Don't be afraid to express your own discomfort and opinions. Your comfort, your health should always be the first fucking priority. 

Take care of yourself. Please, just, just take care of yourself. Eat however much you want, drink however much you want, just make sure you're healthy at the end of the day. You are so much more, you are so beautiful and god- fuck- You mean a lot to me. Don't you dare think no one cares, because I do, I care so, so much."

He was crying at this point. You could hear him sniffle in between his rambles and gosh, you were lying if you said you didn't shed a tear or two of your own.  
The anxiety in you was still there, though a little less intense than before. Most of it was replaced with guilt. Your chest still hurt but you ignored it.

"H- hey, are you listening? You-" 

"Yeah, I am.. Thank you," you said softly with a small smile. There wasn't much else you could even think of to say.

He breathed a sigh of relief, "Don't thank me, you idiot. Just, just promise me that you'll talk to me before deciding to do something like that, okay? I can't stand to lose you."

"Yeah. I promise," you glanced to the window, before standing up and closing it. Then you walked to your bed, and curled up on it.

"Good. So I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Who's the idiot now, of course you will. You better not appear with red eyes," you teased.

"Ha! As if I will. And, hey.. I'm glad you're here, honestly, okay? Really, I love you."

".. I know, I'm glad you're here with me, I love you too. Happy New Years."

"Yeah, you too." He ended the call just as the fire works outside finally quieted down.  
You pulled the covers up, replaying what he said to you in your head, and fell asleep with a small smile on your face.

**Author's Note:**

> This can be viewed platonically or romantically, your choice.
> 
> And, yeah, I'm fine now. Shout out to my friends for being awesome.  
> Shout out to you for being alive! Happy New Years, pal.


End file.
